Well, due to spotty connection and sheer exhaustion, I wasn’t able to post an entry most of this week. Needless to say I did not have trouble sleeping as no matter what I was doing, around 8:30pm my eyes shut and did not open till morning. There was no ‘falling asleep’ there was just unconsciousness. But unfortunately that brings us to our last night in China and me summing up the crazy, long, beautiful, heartbreaking, too short past five days in one blog post. Thankfully if you wanted proof that I was still alive, you got that through Facebook or the group blog http://www.tenwomentendays.blogspot.com. But here we go… are you ready for this? Because I’m not.
It’s been a little over 24 hours since leaving the orphanage for the last time and I can still hear their laughter, their cries, their babbles, their hellos and bye-byes. I can feel the weight of their tiny bodies in my arms and their arms holding me around my shoulders. There has been a constant ache in my heart, a constant thought of ‘I don’t want to go’. I want to see my family, friends, and my dog, but I really don’t want to go. But I have to. The only thing making it better is I can begin telling their stories when I get back. No matter what I post on here, I will still have more things to talk about. I could never talk enough about what’s going on here in China.
This trip I spent a lot of time in the baby room (surprise, surprise). I have rocked and cuddled and held and kissed and sang to many babies this week. I will always remember the gaze of the 3 month old baby, who silently watched my every move till I picked her up, or the laughter of the toddler that was so sweet it tickled your ears, or the huge smile that came to the wide eyed girl when you touched her cheek. There’s the two girls that loved to to be held, one of the crying every single time you put her down. And the fussy infant I held for hours, patting and pacing and rocking. All these memories I’ll forever have tucked away in my head.
I can’t wait to share the individual stories of the children up for adoption, that I got to know this week. They are so unique and beautiful and in such need of a home. They have such big personalities, like the older girl that will run over to you and hug you, and say, ‘hello, how are you?’ or the little boy that had an obsession with chairs and just loved to stack as many as he could, and then unstack them, and relocate them to a different area of the room, and then do it all over again. And the sweet, quiet soul one of the little girls had, that really opened up by the end of the week, and we were able to see smiles and laughter. You definitely can’t forget one of the older boys that was so feisty and so curious, and always where it was most exciting.
In due time I will post those stories, but for now it’s 11pm and I have a 14 hour flight to Chicago and then a two hour flight to Richmond tomorrow– after a full morning of shopping at the Pearl Market! I have to bust out my bargaining skills (?) tomorrow. Keep me in mind as you know sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me.
I’ll talk to you guys again once I’m back in the states! Please keep us in your prayers.